


Anniversary

by Davechicken



Series: Kylux - Fluff & Angst [120]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Crack, M/M, Mitaka has the worst job, Unfair embarrassing of subordinates, second hand embarrassment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-16
Updated: 2016-12-16
Packaged: 2018-09-08 21:38:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8863075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Davechicken/pseuds/Davechicken
Summary: Hux needs advice. Mitaka needs a new job.





	

“Lieutenant… if I were to ask you… hypothetical questions?”  


Oh no. Dopheld Mitaka swallows. Whenever Hux gets ‘hypothetical’, he comes out in a cold sweat. Quite often this reveals things about Hux’s sex life that no one (maybe not even Hux himself) should know about. 

“…about?” Mitaka asks, trying not to tremble in the vocal cords.   


“…the… I mean, if… people were…”  


“…having… relations?” Mitaka proposes.  


“That works. If they were having relations, and it was coming up to a big… you know.”  


“…anniversary?”  


“That. Because… well. If one of them was wanting to… get something… for the other person, and that other person… didn’t… exactly act forthcoming when someone was… hinting they might benefit from some guidance as to… potential purchases?”  


Oh. Okay. Not as bad as the time when Hux had sent him out to procure… ‘things’. Or rather, just collect them from a courier’s warehouse. And not look at the manifest. (He had, anyway, and he wishes he hadn’t.) 

Mitaka fights for words. “Well… does - uh I mean… it’s possible the other party might not want a–”  


“Not an option.”  


“I see.” Damn. “There is, I think, chocolates? Alcohol? Uh… s-socks?”  


“He - uh - the person might only wear one kind of socks.”  


“…there’s also… experiences. Like… going… somewhere?”  


“Like, on a mission?”  


“No, on a _date_.” Mitaka has never really dated. This is all rampant speculation and secret holo-trash.   


“…where? You mean, just… for food?”  


But Ren wears that mask all the time. Shit. “Or things yo– they would like to do together. Things that interest them both.”

“Shooting things.”  


“…so… safari?”  


“I’m not taking him big game hunting,” Hux snaps. “You know he’d cheat.”

Which means, at least, that they can ditch the hypotheticals today. “You could find things about the Force for him. Or about his grandfather. Or you could get him… candies he likes? Or… nice… p-private clothes?”

Hux goes red. “I don’t know if… that would… be something… this hypothetical person, or the other, would like.”

“You could… casually… show… pictures? Or just… turn up in it and…?”  


“What if he laughs?”  


WHY is Hux doing this? Mitaka is here because he’s subordinate, but this is emotional abuse and torture. “I don’t know! I don’t know what he likes! He just shouts at me a lot and chokes me!”

“WHAT? When did he choke you last? I thought I told him to stop that.”  


“…not in a month or two,” Mitaka hurriedly corrects him. “But I - uh - if it’s any consolation, I think he probably _would_ like you - in… things. Or you could… you could get him a you-know shaped like his hilt.”  


“It’s unsanitary. There’s too many grooves.”  


“ _Well you could have it just vaguely in the shape of it or something I don’t know I think I need to go, Sir, I think - I have - duties elsewhere and maybe something is on fire–”_  


“Dismissed,” Hux wobbles out. “I– yes. You clearly are needed elsewhere. You should make sure you finish your shift an hour early, though.”  


“…thankyouGeneralSir.”  


Mitaka scrapes his way out of the room, and anywhere but here. He needs to scrub a whole new set of mental images from his mind, now. When will it ever stop? He needs them to either break up, or learn to talk better. Maybe the latter, because a lovesick either of them would be hard enough, but two? Impossible.


End file.
